Travels with Frank: Breakdown in the Amazon

(please read this entry with a sense of humor because, believe it or not, I did write it with a smile on my face...a deranged smile, but a SMILE nonetheless...)

It's official. It's been 45 days since I left Cartagena with Frank and 29 days since we boarded our first boat in Coca on the Rio Napo in Ecuador. We're halfway there and Julia's TIRED. And sick of MANY things thus far. Allow me to expound on that last statement.


I'm sick of boats. I'm sick of hammocks. I'm sick of rice, plantains, white bread, bland pasta, and weird sections of meat I can't identify. I'm sick of screaming children and crying babies. I'm sick of squealing, enraged pigs and constantly confused crowing roosters. I'm sick of disgusting bathrooms and no toilet seats. I'm sick of weaving and ducking through impossibly crowded decks of hammocks to get to the bathroom or off the boat. I'm sick of wading through sh*t: pig sh*t, chicken sh*t, people sh*t. I'm sick of toxic black exhaust and the smell of urine and sh*t of all kinds. I'm sick of not sleeping well. I'm sick of epically slow Internet connections and no wi-fi and bad instant coffee with no cream. I'm sick of smelly clothes and not at least having the option of a nice restaurant or supermarket to eat from. I'm sick of limited water and electricity. I'm sick of bug bites that won't heal and men staring at me and cat-calling (no I don't want to talk to you or give you the time of day; why should you be different than any other old man trying to get my attention?). I'm sick of heat and humidity and never ending stickiness.. I'm sick of constantly meeting new travelers and the same old questions: Where you coming? Where you going? How long? I'm sick of being either constipated or running to the bathroom every 10 minutes. I'm sick of ants swarming everywhere. I'm sick of dirty, loud buses, reggaeton and changing money and badly dubbed pirated movies. I'm sick of Frank stressing over every cent, sole, peso and real, being too slow and getting caught up in every little detail. I'm pretty much sick of everything

BUT. I WILL GET ON ANOTHER 4-DAY BOAT TO MANAUS IN 3 DAYS. IN MANAUS I WILL GET ON YET ANOTHER BOAT THAT WILL TAKE 5 MORE DAYS TO GET TO BELEM. I WILL PUT UP WITH ALL OF THESE THINGS BECAUSE I HAVE MADE IT HALFWAY DOWN THE AMAZON AND INDEED WILL NOT QUIT NOW. I'VE CROSSED THROUGH 3 COUNTRIES AND FARC-INFESTED JUNGLE. I WAS STRANDED IN A SMALL VILLAGE FOR 10 DAYS AND THEN ON A TINY, CROWDED COMMERCIAL BOAT WITH TRAUMATIZING MONSTER-PIGS FOR ANOTHER 10 DAYS. I WENT THROUGH HELL FOR THAT BLASTED BRAZILIAN VISA (GETTING YELLED AT BY BOTH CONSULATES VISITED) AND PAID $140 BUCKAROOS FOR A MERE 90 DAYS (still bitter about that). I HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND WILL NOT BACK DOWN NOW. I WILL MAKE IT ALL THE WAY DOWN THE AMAZON RIVER TO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN BECAUSE I AM JULIA AND I WILL FINISH THIS CRAZY, DERANGED JOURNEY THAT I HAVE BEGUN COME HELL OR HIGH WATER OR IF FRANK HAS TO DRAG MY SORRY, TIRED BUM ALL THE WAY THERE. I WILL DO IT. I WILL MAKE IT. IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO.